London, Love, and a Blue Box
by lightinside
Summary: Rose and The Doctor are together, but even so, are not exempt from the problems that have always followed them. They run into Sherlock Holmes - a most unlikely character - and a journey begins. This is the story of these three heroes and the cramped path they walk through life and things unexpected that happen to come along the way - including broken hearts, revelations, and love.
1. Chapter 1

_**This is my first fan fiction! All characters belong to BBC (with the exception of a few -I'll let you know who, soon) ! I hope you like it! {Rating is a precaution for future chapters} Comment after you read to give me ideas, or let me know what you thought! Thank you so much! **_

_**-lightinside**_

* * *

"You cannot leave me here. I won't let you."

My voice shakes. I am so unsure of myself, and looking into those intoxicating brown eyes of his…looking at that pin-striped suit…the way his mouth is set in a grim line…I know in my heart that I will not win this fight. I cannot.

"Rose." He chides me softly. "I have to. It is the only way to keep you safe."

I bite my lip. "I don't want to be safe. I don't want to be anywhere without you. And if you leave…I will no longer have an identity. If you go, Doctor, you take that with you as well."

"Rose, why are you making this so difficult?" He sighs, running a hand through his messy brown hair.

I shake my head. "No, that is what you are doing."

I watch him carefully, gauging his reaction. His eyes stare into mine. His hands fall, hanging at his sides. He lets out a long, uneven breath. "I can't." He whispers. "I just can't."

The Doctor turns toward the TARDIS and I feel tears prick my eyes. This is the last image I will have of him. Here, on this cold night, on a dark London street…walking into his TARDIS. Never turning back. Never saying goodbye.

And I am letting him go.

My stomach does a sickening flip.

We will never walk together again. He will never take my hand as he often did after we made it out of a terrifying situation. I will never see that flash of intuition in his eyes when he pieces a logical puzzle together. I…I will never get to tell him the truth.

I want to scream it out, right now. Before he gets in the TARDIS and flies away into the vast expansion we humans call space. I want to run to him, and grab his arm, and just say it. Before I lose my nerve. I don't know what's stopping me.

The door to the TARDIS opens.

The Doctor has one foot inside.

And I just…do it.

"Doctor!" I yell, taking off in a run.

He steps outside again, with those sad eyes and defeated stance.

His eyebrows crinkle as I reach him. "Rose?" He asks me, "What is it?"

"I need to do something I should have done…probably a long time ago."

The Doctor gives me a small smile. "What would that be?"

I put my hands on his shoulders and lean forward. I have to stand up on my toes a little to reach him. "This." I whisper, and bring my lips to his.

He is unresponsive for a second or two.

And then suddenly, he melts. His arms wrap around me, and he pulls me closer. My fingers tangle in his hair, and his hands press into my lower back. We are kissing, on a dark street in London, where only moments ago, he was going to leave me.

Everything goes away.

I am here.

He is here.

There is nothing else in the world in this moment.

I am the first to pull away. "I love you." I say gently. "I've made my choice, Doctor. And there isn't a thing in this universe that can stop me from coming with you."

The Doctor sighs and puts his forehead against mine. "What happens now, Rose? If I lose you now…"

"You can't worry over those things right now! You have me, right here, right now. And for just one second, stop thinking about what could go wrong. Look at me, Doctor. _Focus_ on me."

I watch him, watching me.

He takes my hand, and a strange, pained look comes over his face.

"I can't." He murmurs again.

My stomach drops in a sickening plummet. I feel like I am falling from the top of a building. I look down at my feet to make sure I am on solid ground. "…Doctor?"

"Every life comes to an end. I will not let you waste yours, flitting around the universe with me, instead of really falling in love, and maybe starting a family. You have a whole future ahead of you, Rose! And that's the one thing that I cannot be a part of. I can't grow old. I can't die. You can. Rose, you can…and one day you will."

My head is spinning. He is really going to leave me.

"I don't care." I tell him. "If I die tomorrow, at least I would die with you. You are the only person I've ever wanted to be with, Doctor. And danger is what comes with the package. We have been through a lot, you and me. And look! I'm here."

The Doctor's lip quivers and he hangs his head. "I can't watch it. I couldn't bear it."

"What?" I ask him, putting my hands on his cheeks. "What couldn't you bear?"

"Watching you," He says quietly. "I would watch you grow old, Rose. And then I would watch you die."

My throat contracts and I cannot bring myself to say a word. I don't think there are any words left for me to say.

"That is why I didn't have anyone with me, when we met. Because in the end…you all leave. You leave or you forget. And it breaks my heart."

Tears slide down my cheeks and I pull him into my arms. He stays there. There is no protest left in him. No fight. We sink to the ground, holding each other.

"Please." I beg him quietly. "If you won't take me with you, stay with me. Stay here with me."

The Doctor looks up at me and gauges the seriousness of my statement. "Stay?"

"Time Lords are lonely, sad creatures because of all they have lost. And you…you are the last. Doctor, you don't have to give it up forever. But for right now…if you won't let me come…you can stay."

"Stay…and do what?"

"Be with me!" I say, laughing through my tears. "Just be with me."

He doesn't answer.

"Is that…something you would want?" I ask him.

The Doctor looks at me. "More than anything."

"What's stopping you?"

"To…be human, I would have to alter my genetics in the TARDIS. You would have to hide her from me. I couldn't see it, because I would remember what I used to be. My memories of being a Time Lord will fade, and you cannot let me see anything that might trigger them. IF I do… all will be for nothing."

"No." I say. "No, you can't give all of that up for me."

"I will, Rose. And I won't miss it because I won't know about it."

A deep melancholy settles over my heart, seeping into my skin like poison. Can I do this to him? Will I? This is what defines him. The TARDIS, his sadness, his skill. All of the things he has suffered have made him this broken creature with a zeal for life and for love, protecting it and cherishing it wherever it can be found. What will he be without that?

I do not like to see him suffer. No…I don't like that at all. But, that is what makes him the Doctor. My Doctor. I fixed him. I am protecting him.

Oh…what will he become, if I should do this thing?

I stand, pulling him with me. I have to do this. "Run. Run, you clever boy and remember me."

I crush my lips to his and let go.

"ROSE!"

I am not listening. I cannot. For if I do, I will turn around and run to him. Where he goes, I cannot. I must stay behind.

Our worlds are not meant to collide.

My legs are pumping on their own. I can hardly see through the sense of crushing sadness. I weave my way around the street corners until I know that I have lost him.

My Doctor…my sanity…is gone.

* * *

**_The Doctor:_**

Her blonde hair flies behind her as she runs.

She is running away from me.

"ROSE!"

I run after her until I am sure that I have lost her. She knows the streets better than I do. My stomach twists, sending a feeling of sickness throughout my body that I have not felt in 900 years of life.

My Rose…my lovely, breathtakingly beautiful, witty Rose is gone.

I turn around and run as fast as I can to the TARDIS and unlock the door. I enter her information on the computer and an image comes up.

She is sitting against a brick wall, close to a streetlamp, sobbing.

The mere sight of it rips my hearts apart.

I have to do this thing.

I want her…I _need _her…and I don't need anything.

My legs move on their own, my fingers working tirelessly to flip switches and turn dials. I can make myself human. But I don't have to give up my memories. If I do…I give up Rose. And I will not do that. I cannot.

The TARDIS hums with energy. I slip the beams over my head and bite on the wooden cap.

I do not feel much before I collapse.

* * *

**_Rose_****:**

I hear scuffling. I sniff. "Hello?"

Something thuds to the pavement and I hear a soft groan. "Rose!" Someone says feverishly.

I leap to my feet. "Doctor! Is that you?"

No answer.

I run until I see a dark form on the ground. "Doctor!" I shriek, falling to my knees beside him. He is drenched with sweat and his eyes are glazed…filled with pain.

I pull his head into my lap and stroke his hair. "You shouldn't have come after me." I say, panic filling my veins.

"I did….what…I needed to do." He gasps, and suddenly moans, squeezing my hand tightly.

The panic turns to icy dread. I put my other hand on his chest. One heartbeat. That's all. Not two. Just one.

"You didn't!" I cry quietly. "I told you to run, Doctor. Why did you do this? What made you sure you were going to find me?"

"I want…a life with you." He strains to speak through his pain. "It shouldn't be," He winces. "Hard to understand."

"Stop!" I tell him forcefully. "I have to get you to a hospital."

He shakes his head vigorously. "NO!" He calls out loudly as I begin to get up.

I sit back down with him.

"No hospitals," He wheezes.

Tears threaten to spill out of my eyes. I hate this. He is in pain and there isn't a single thing I can do about it.

I get out my phone and dial. "Hullo?"

"Mickey! Mickey, thank god. I'm back! I'm back and the Doctor is sick. I need you to come and get us, right _now_!"

My hand strokes the Doctor's cheek while the other holds the phone. "Rose? Rose, slow down."

"He has a fever, and he's sick! Mickey, get in your car and come help him, please!" I start to sob. "Please, Mickey!"

"I'm coming! I just got in the car, Rose. Now tell me where you are."

I take a shaky breath and look around frantically. "I don't know!" I cry, "I can't see any street signs!"

"Are your surroundings familiar?"

I breathe in and crane my neck to see around the building. "Gary's Cards & Comics is across the street."

"I know where you are. I'm not but five minutes away. I'll see you in a second."

The line goes dead and I shove my phone in my blue leather jacket.

"Rose?" The Doctor moans.

His eyes are closed and the hollow of his throat is shiny with sweat. He swallows hard.

"Yes?"

"I wish I'd done everything on earth with you." He whispers.

My throat constricts. "Me, too." I whisper back.

A horn honks twice, snapping me out of my daze. I look over and see Mickey jump out of his car, but by the way he is looking around, I can tell he does not see us.

"Mickey!" I yell, "Over here!"

Mickey turns towards the sound of my voice and jogs to me. "Alright, you." He addresses the Doctor, "I'm going to get you up and in the car."

The corners of the Doctor's mouth turn up in a delirious half smile. "Ah, Rickey. There you are."

I look up at Mickey and see him crack a smile. "That's right, you madman with a box. I'm here."

The Doctor's eyes snap open and he looks around frantically. "The TARDIS! Rose, where is the TARDIS!?"

"I don't know, Doctor, but I'll find her. She'll be safe."

"No one can get in without a key," Mickey reminds him.

My Doctor relaxes and lays his head back in my lap. "That's brilliant." He murmurs.

Mickey and I lock eyes. "He really is sick." Mickey murmurs.

I nod and turn my attention to the Doctor. "Mickey is going to put you in the car."

Mickey leans down to hoist the Doctor on his shoulders, but the Doctor grabs my hand. "Don't leave me." He says quickly, his breathing becoming abnormally rapid with panic.

I put my hand on his cheek and he leans into it. "You truly are mad to think I would ever leave you."

That makes him relax.

Mickey successfully throws the Doctor over his shoulders and we have him lying in the backseat of the yellow BMW in two minutes. I crawl in and put the Doctor's head in my lap. I take off my jacket and t-shirt, leaving me in a tank top.

"Rose…" Mickey says questioningly.

I roll my eyes. "Hand me that SmartWater."

Mickey hands me the giant, and nearly full, bottle of water and I open the back door. I unscrew the top of the bottle and grab my white shirt and hold them both over the pavement.

I soak my shirt with the cold water until the bottle is empty. I throw it out of my hand and onto the street. I wring my shirt free of all dripping water until it is merely damp.

I fold it up neatly and gently begin wiping the Doctor's face with it. He sighs through his feverish haze. I close the door and look at Mickey. "Drive to a hotel. You'll go in the front door and check in. Let me in through the side so I can side step the lobby. Get a room on the floor with the most vacancies. Say you like the quiet. I'll get the Doctor and we can go up through the service elevator. Alright?"

"Why not go to your mum?"

"Mickey, do not ask me questions. Just do as I said. Go."

And he does.

* * *

My phone rings. "Mickey?"

"Room 709. That floor is completely empty. We will be the only ones up there."

"No…not we. Me and the Doctor, Mickey. I don't think he wants you to see him like this."

"I am going to stay for another hour. At least until he is sleeping well. Alright?"

"Alright." I say, "Meet me at the west guest entrance." and hang up.

I get out of the car and lean back in. "Doctor, can you swing your feet and put them on the floor?"

He does.

"Good. Give me one good scoot this way and I can haul you out."

The Doctor pushes himself my way with his hands and collapses against me, fighting his fever. I am terrified for him.

"Rose, leave me here. You don't have to carry me." He protests softly through his dazed state.

"Hush. Don't be daft."

"Get…Mickey…to help you."

His breathing is becoming irregular again. "I don't have time for Mickey to come and help me. I have to take care of you. Now be quiet and let me."

He chuckles and it dissolves into a cough.

If I don't do something soon, he will die. I am sure of it. A surge of determination washes through me and I put his arm around my shoulders and wrap my own around his waist.

"Lean on me, Doctor…that's right. I've got you."

"This isn't as bad as 42 is it?" He asks me as I half drag him through the parking-lot.

"No. Not nearly. You're still my Doctor."

"…I hear the uncertainty in your voice." He tells me. "It _is _worse."

I sigh. "In some ways more than others, yes."

We reach the side door and Mickey swings it open. He puts his arm on the other side of the Doctor and we easily reach the service elevators.

All of us pile in and I dab the Doctor's forehead with my damp t-shirt. He is still sweating.

"He needs an ice-bath, to lower the fever."

I feel the Doctor bristle. "Ice bath?" He croaks.

"Don't worry, mate. I'll help you with that." Mickey tells him gently. "It's alright."

"Thank you Mickey," The Doctor swallows and I see the sweat on his neck drip down and fall on his back. I wipe it with the shirt.

Mickey looks surprised. "You called me Mickey…"

The Doctor smiles, eyes closed. "Don't get used to it."

We walk down the hall to room 709 and open the door. It is super nice. One of those places with the newest television and a fluffy duvet on the bed and those pillows that are so fluffy they sink to the weight of your head. It has a microwave and a fridge, a huge bathroom, and a pull out couch. There are two chairs, a desk, and a coffee maker.

Thank god for that.

"Mickey, go out and get some ice and some soup….ginger ale and crackers would be appreciated as well. I'll give you the money."

Mickey holds up his hands. "No, no. I can pay for it, Rose. It's fine. Let me just help you get him on the bed and out of his jacket."

"That reminds me. While you're out, will you pick him up some pajamas and extra underwear? Maybe even some undershirts and thin cotton pants? I want to keep him comfortable."

"Of course." Mickey murmurs.

"You don't have to do that." The Doctor protests weakly.

"Raggedy man, you had better be quiet and listen to this girl. She knows what she's doing, and she knows what's best for you. Cooperate, because if you don't, you'll have to deal with the side of her that Jackie contributed to."

The Doctor winces and I laugh. "I would never put him through that."

"Why? Jackie can't help it."

"Exactly. Mum can't, and I can."

Mickey laughs, "Well, I'm off. Do you think you can handle everything while I'm gone?"

I purse my lips and raise an eyebrow. Mickey scoffs. "I forgot. Excuse me, Rose Tyler, Defender of The Earth."

"Go on, Mickey. Hurry back."

* * *

I strip the Doctor down to his undershirt, but leave his bottom half of clothing alone at his request. I hang his trench coat and suit jacket in the closet. I fold his dress shirt and lay it on the table. I go and hang my shirt on the towel rack in the bathroom to dry and find a washcloth.

I stop up the basin and cut on the scalding hot water. I allow the wash cloth to soak in it for a few moments before I squeeze it out and allow it to cool on the counter.

I kick my boots off and take the washcloth over to where the Doctor lays. I fold the washcloth in half and lay it on his forehead. I untie his red converse and drop them over by my boots. He has begun to shiver, even though his skin is so hot it feels as if it is burning from the inside out. I go to the closet and get the hotel provided bathrobe and the extra blankets.

I make him sit up and slip his arms into the fluffy robe I hold and I take the three blankets I hold and tuck them around his legs and torso and put his hands underneath them as well.

He is shivering, even still.

I bite my lip. I go to the air conditioner and cut it on heat and I go to the hotel phone. I dial the desk.

"Welcome to the Hilton, may I help you?" A perky woman answers the phone.

"Um, yes, hello. I need two extra blankets and about four more pillows to room 709, please. And do you have thermometers?"

"We don't, but I can send for one. It can be here within the hour."

"No, that's alright…uh, do I have to call Room Service for food, or can I go ahead and order now?"

"I can transfer your call."

"That would be lovely, thank you."

Three low beeps signal the transfer and another woman picks up. "Room Service."

"Yes, hello. I need…a steaming bowl of broth to room 709, and I would also like some Chai tea and two rolls."

"Would you like any sugar for your tea?"

"Yes. Two cubes and a splash of milk, please."

"It will be up in about twenty minutes."

"Thank you!" I say as happily as I can muster, and hang up the phone.

I go and pick up my phone. I call Mickey. "Hullo?"

"Mickey, I also need a thermometer, and can you run by Mum's and get her to pack me an overnight bag? She'll know what I mean."

"Sure!" He says, "I'll see you soon."

"Alright, then. Goodbye!"

* * *

I sit in the chair by the Doctor's bedside. He is tossing in his sleep, no doubt dreaming of the Daleks or of the destruction of Gallifrey, like he once told me he often did.

I put my hand on his arm gently and he bolts out of his sleep and grabs my wrist. It takes him a moment to get his orientation, but he does. He pants and falls back on his pillow.

"I'm…so sorry Rose." He says quietly.

There is a knock at the door. "It's alright, Doctor. You're alright, do you hear me? I've got you now."

His hand falls off of my wrist and I move reluctantly toward the door.

I peep through the door and open it.

My food is handed to me on a tray and I tip the waiter. I lock the door behind me and set the food on the table. There is a little bed tray on the desk. I get it and put it on the Doctor's lap.

"Sit up," I murmur, and stack pillows behind him. "You need to eat a little something."

"I'm not hungry." He tells me.

I put a hand on my hip. "Does it look like I'm going to argue with you?"

A hint of a smile plays on his lips. "Not exactly."

I get the bowl of broth and put it on the tray. I put two rolls beside the bowl. "The rolls are optional, the soup is not."

He nods. "Okay."

Another knock sounds on the door. It must be the pillows.

I open the door and stare straight into the barrel of a gun. "Hold up your hands."

My hands shake as I raise them slowly above my head. "Turn around."

It's Jack…but his eyes are like black orbs. The Master…is controlling Jack.

"Rose!" The Doctor cries, trying to get up.

"Stay there!" Jack hisses. "Or I shoot."

Jack locks the door behind all of us and makes me walk to the middle of the room. I am looking around for anything I could use to hit him with…

A lamp…but that would be a bit messy and a tad destructive.

"Mickey will be back soon." I tell the Doctor, hoping the Master is listening in. "And so will housekeeping, with pillows and blankets."

The Doctor stands, his strength renewed for a moment, and he faces Jack. "Let her go."

Jack laughs darkly…the Master's laugh.

"You look pale, Doctor…" He mocks.

At that moment, the Doctor's knees give out and he falls to the floor. "Doctor!" I scream, rushing forward to help him. He is shaking, but allows me to wrap my arms around him.

"You _are _pale, Doctor…" Jack says, "My word…are you…ordinary? This is terribly pathetic. A Time Lord, perhaps the greatest in existence…giving up his own natural form to grow old with a fragile human…dear me, what has this universe come to?"

"She is not fragile!" The Doctor spits through his teeth, "And she is not ordinary. In fact, she may be the strongest, most extraordinary thing I've ever witnessed in my 900 years. So, don't you dare assume you know anything about my Rose."

"I do know something." Jack says.

The Doctor looks at him coldly.

"All roses wilt."

And he raises the gun.

Before I can blink…I hear a muffled shot.

And there is nothing.

* * *

**_The Doctor_****:**

"ROSE!" I yell as she falls in my arms, limp.

Her eyelids are closed, and they do not flutter. She is dead weight, but breathing. I do not know where he shot her…yet.

I stand as quickly as I can and use all the strength I can muster to get her to the chair. A blossom of red is blooming on her chest. Jack missed her heart…and from what I can tell, her lungs…but she is unconscious. And that in itself is not a good sign.

Jack has fallen to the floor and is in a slumped pile. I hear him moan. He is awake now, but I cannot bring myself to care. Rose is all that matters to me…and I am losing her.

The door opens and Mickey walks in. "Rose, your mum sent that-."

Mickey sees me, working frantically beside Rose, and Jack, sprawled in the floor.

"What in blinking, bloody hell happened?!" Mickey yells, throwing the bags down in the floor and keeling beside Rose.

"The Master." I spit. "The Master took over Jack's mind, and he shot her. He _shot _her!" I scream through my panic.

My head throbs. I am still very, very sick. I can feel the fever dancing across my skin, seeping into my bloodstream. But, I ignore it. Because I can't afford to face it right now. It would take my attention away from Rose.

"Can't you use your little gadget?!" Mickey yells at me, "That sonic thing?!"

"Of course! Ricky, you're brilliant!"

He rolls his eyes and I leap to my feet, ignoring the dizziness that threatens to make me fall over. "Allons-y!"

I run for my coat that Rose hung up and grab my sonic screwdriver. I take it back to where she is lying in the chair.

I press the button and watch the sonic energy pulse through my device and into Rose. Her wound stops bleeding, and I watch as it slowly stitches itself together.

I give a long sigh of relief and collapse next to the chair. "Whoa, raggedy man…I have to get you to the bed." Mickey says softly.

I shake my head adamantly. "No. I want to stay here until she wakes up."

"You can watch her. From the bed. Now, come on." Mickey says stubbornly.

I glare at him. "Fine. But you have to bring her over there."

Mickey nods. "One thing at a time."

He hoists me up and helps me to the bed, where I proceed to crawl on top on the duvet and flop on the pillows. Mickey covers me up with the blankets Rose put on me not too long ago and goes back to retrieve her.

When he picks her up, her head leans back. She is pale, but the color is returning to her cheeks. I hear her sigh softly in her state of unconsciousness. She must be waking up somewhat. I hope she doesn't for the moment. I don't know how bad her pain will be.

Mickey places Rose on the opposite side of me, pulls back the covers, and pulls them over her. I turn over and take her hand. I know she can't feel it at the moment…but it reassures me. Of what, I do not know. But it helps.

It helps.

* * *

**_Rose_****:**

My eyes flutter open and I look around for a moment.

Only one thought runs through my mind.

Where is my Doctor?

"Rose?"

I turn my head and see him. He is piled in bed with pillows, reserved to his fever once again. I move my hand and realize that I, too am in bed.

"What happened?"

The Doctor swallows. "The Master took over Jack's mind. He made….he made Jack shoot you."

"Then how am I here? How am I alright?"

"I helped you. I've asked Mickey to stay on the sofa bed for another night or two as well."

I nod weakly. "That's fine. Did he bring everything?"

"Yes. Your mum gave him that pack you asked for. He even brought toothbrushes." He chuckles softly.

I smile. "Did house-keeping bring the pillows and blankets?"

"Yes, Rose. Now stop worrying. Rest." The Doctor murmurs, closing his eyes.

I see that one of my hands is entwined with his. I squeeze his hand. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight…"

Someone moans. I sit up quickly. A little too quickly. A wave of dizziness crashes through me and I feel for a moment as if I might be sick.

"Jack is still here?" I ask frantically when I see him on the chair not but five feet from the Doctor.

"Yes, but only because he is sick as well. The mind control left him like this."

I hesitate for a moment.

I don't want to care about Jack's wellbeing right now. He shot me. But then again, to be fair, it wasn't really him. I have to ask. "Is he going to be alright?"

The Doctor nods weakly. "Yes. He'll be fine by the morning."

"What about you," I ask softly, "Will you be?"

The Doctor swallows and nods after a few seconds of hesitation. I can see that even though he has been in this situation before, he is not sure of his answer. Frankly, neither am I.

I scoot closer to him, knowing I am warmer than he thinks he is. I lay my head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat. It soothes me. The warmth of his skin through his shirt and the beat of his human heart. It makes me feel safe, even though I know that we are not. Not completely.

"Rose?"

"Yes?"

"I don't regret it."

I angle my head so that I am looking at him. "Regret what, Doctor?"

"This…you."

My heart expands in my chest, filled with love and hope and prosperity. "Are you certain?"

He sighs softly, in the throes of sleep. "I've never been more certain of anything in my life."

The door opens. Mickey steps in and raises his hands. "Sorry!" He mouths.

I blink at him. "Go. Sleep. On. The. Couch." I mouth back.

Mickey nods and disappears to the other room.

I turn the light out and lay my head on his chest again. Moments of dark and deep silence pass by and I hear his breathing become heavy, but not labored.

My worry is eating away at me. How can I sleep when he is so sick? I listen intently, and for a moment, a mere second, I think I can hear the passing of time. It sickens me. In my heart, I know that I am not the same way I was only seconds ago. And I will never get those seconds back. This moment is fleeting, and every time I move or speak, another moment has passed.

"Rose…"

The Doctor mutters in his sleep. "Rose! NO!" He bolts awake, sweat pouring down his face and saturating his hair.

I lunge for the lamp and flip the switch. Light floods the room and I turn my attention back to the Doctor.

He looks as if he might cry.

I don't say anything, I just take his hand and stroke his cheek.

"You're here?"

I nod.

"And you're alright?"

I nod again. "We are both just fine."

He leans his head back against the pillow and sighs deeply. "Good." He says softly. "And Rose?"

"Yes?"

"Do I have to go back to sleep?"

I shake my head. "Of course not. Are you having bad dreams?"

The Doctor nods and stares at the ceiling.

I don't know what to say, so I remain silent. I take his hand and kiss his cheek. "Will I be alright?" He asks me again.

"Yes." I say confidently. "You will be just fine."

"How do you know?"

"Because I'm going to look after you." I say softly. "And you're going to get well."

The Doctor turns to look at me. "You can't save me, Rose. No one can."

"I can," I tell him. "And I will. I'm not giving up on you."

"By tomorrow morning, I am going to sink into a coma, Rose. You won't be able to wake me. You know this is part of the regeneration."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Don't worry about me, Rose. I will come back to you."

I nod and he pulls me to his chest. "Rose Tyler…I-."

His eyes close.

I look at the window.

It is daybreak.

And I begin to cry.

* * *

Mickey walks in the room. "Oh! You're awake."

My head is perched on my knees, and my arms are wrapped around them. I lift my chin up and look at him. He is in pajama pants and a t-shirt. His hair is sticking up in a few places. He looks absolutely goofy.

And yet, I can't bring myself to smile. I look over at the Doctor. I watch him breathe slowly, like he is in deep sleep. But I feel like he is a million miles away.

Away from the earth…from this hotel…from me.

"Yeah." I say quietly. "Apparently so are you."

Mickey smiles awkwardly and rubs the back of his neck. "I wanted to check on the both of you."

"I'm fine…and well, he's not. The regeneration process has fully kicked in. He is gone for a little while."

"Is he going to come back? I mean…will he-?"

"NO!" I say loudly, making my head pound. I give a long sigh. "No," I say quietly, "He promised that he would come back to me. I believe him."

Mickey nods. "Alright, Rose. If that's what he said…that's what he will do. He wouldn't leave you here."

"He almost did…" I say quietly.

Mickey's eyebrows shoot up. "What?"

I quietly recount the story of how the Doctor regenerated in the first place. About his choice to become human for me. And the choice to give up all that he had ever known, and seen, to live here on the Earth.

Mickey sits on the edge of the bed, looking at me incredulously.

"Rose…he just…gave it all up? Gave up all hope of ever seeing the Time Lords again?"

I smile at him wanly. "He didn't give up hope, Mickey. He just hopes in different things than you do."

"God. He must really love you."

That surprises me. "Why do you say that?"

"I went up there with you once, remember? I saw all of that, the stars, the space, the incredible beings and planets that no other human knows about. And then I had to come back here, to _this_. It is one hell of a disappointment."

"Mickey, your point please?"

"Rose, he had it all in the palm of his hand! And then you…you came along, and he let it go. He let it go for you."

I look over at the Doctor. "I didn't want him to. Mickey…I wanted him to be himself. And he can't do that. Not here…not like this."

"Why didn't you stop him?" Mickey asks me softly.

I feel my lip quiver. "I tried, Mickey! I wanted him to take me with him…and then…when he explained why he couldn't…I ran. I didn't want him to give up his life in the stars. He's my clever boy. He is my madman with a blue box. He is my _Doctor_."

"Rose, even though he's human now, he won't stop being those things."

"But he will remember, Mickey. He will remember the stars and the TARDIS and his adventures. And he will remember that the only ties he had to the Time Lords or to Gallifrey were those things."

"What do you think will happen, Rose? That he will resent you for the decision _he_ made?"

"Yes." I whisper, my voice raw. "That is what I fear."

"He wouldn't!" Mickey argues softly, "Rose, he loves you. He did this so that you could both be together. Don't you see? He didn't want to live in a world without you."

I look over at Mickey with a sad expression. "He would have forgotten me eventually. I would have been nothing but a stray thought in the back of his mind."

Mickey scoffs. "It is quite clear to me, Rose Tyler, that you haven't the faintest clue about what you actually do to people."

"Maybe I don't…and maybe it is best that way."

"What are you saying? Are you…are you going to leave him here?"

I cannot bear to meet Mickey's piercing gaze, but I utter the words anyway. "Where the Doctor goes, Mickey, I can't follow. The same rules apply to this situation."

Mickey leaps up, "This is madness, Rose! Complete madness! You left me for him, and now you're leaving him for nothing!"

"Lower your voice!" I hiss.

"You love each other. If you leave him now, things between you will never be the same."

Mickey walks out before I can say another word. The door clicks shut behind him, too quietly to match the volume of his anger, but enough to make me reflect on what I am about to do.

I look at the Doctor and I find myself smiling. "If you're going to be human…we have to get you a name."

* * *

**_Three Weeks Later_****:**

The Doctor looks at me, one eyebrow raised. "James Arbor?"

I stare him down. "What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing, I really like it! But didn't that come from a movie…?"

I smile. "Maybe. You'll just have to bite the bullet and deal with it, because I love it. It suits you."

The Doctor smiles. "Fine, then. If you like it, then I will 'bite the bullet'."

For some reason, I begin to laugh. Calling him anything but 'The Doctor' will be a bit strange. It's not the funny kind of strange, but I laugh all the same.

"What?" The Doctor's nose crinkles.

I bite my lip, still half smiling. "I can hardly believe this."

"What about it?" He asks, taking my hand.

"You!" I tell him, and feel a strange sense of sadness begin to gnaw at my heart. There is no pain…only uncertainty. He will want to leave me for the stars eventually. I can't escape that. But Mickey was right.

If I leave him now…nothing would be the same. I don't want to leave him. In fact, I think if I did, it might kill me. But I still can't escape the feeling that I _have_ to.

If I was hurt on his watch, he would never forgive himself. Now, being human only makes that aspect worse. If I was to become sick, or hurt, he would have to stand by and watch, knowing there was nothing he could do.

I sigh inwardly. I can be a very melancholy person.

"What about me?" He asks, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Everything. I can hardly believe that you're here, with me, and we aren't rushing off to save the planet or stop the extermination of a species."

The Doctor swallows. "That isn't a bad thing. I'm a bit tired of throwing us in harm's way, aren't you?"

I shrug. "It's just nice to be with you and feel like…well, I'm actually _with _you."

He smiles sadly. "We were always rushing off to a million places at once."

"And I loved every second of it."

I see him deflate just a little. He glances toward the window. "So did I." He says softly.

And that's when I see it.

That little flicker of sadness behind his eyes.

"Go back," I tell him quietly. "That's where you belong. Not here."

His eyes roam and land on me. "Oh, Rose. There was nothing else out there for me."

"Yes, Doctor, there is. You don't have to stay here with me. You can live!"

He gives me a small smile. "What kind of life would it be Rose, if I didn't have you?"

This is the last thing I expect to hear from him. Tears prick my eyes and I try my best to hold them back. He really means it.

I bury my face in my hands and let it all out. His arms wrap around me and we sink to the floor. The Doctor says nothing.

Eventually, I wipe my eyes and look up at him. "Are you sure?"

He chuckles. "Yes. James Arbor, I shall be!" He pumps his fist into the air with a nerdy look on his face and I am sent into a fit of giggles.

"I guess I'll have to call you James from now on…?"

The Doctor smiles mischievously, "Unless you want to solicit strange stares by saying, 'Pick up the baby from daycare, Doctor,' then yes…you do."

"Oh, we're going to have a child are we?" I feel heat rush into my cheeks.

The Doctor kisses my forehead, "All in due time."

My heart thuds against my ribcage.

The tone on my phone rings, bringing the moment to an end. I answer it gratefully.

"Hullo?"

"Erm…Rose? It's Jack."

My stomach drops and I swallow. The Doctor can see the change in my body language. He puts out his hand, as a gesture to hand him the phone, but I shake my head.

He continues to look at me, and I try to smile reassuringly.

I just can't.

I know that it is illogical to be afraid of Jack, because what happened to me was the Master's doing. But I can't help it. When I hear his voice, I see the barrel of that gun. I see his cold, dark eyes. The memory is enough to make me sick.

"What do you want?" I ask, clearing my throat to keep the shake out of it.

"I wanted to apologize, for what I did…"

"It wasn't your fault."

Prickles go down my spine. Why did I say that to him? Sideways glances at the Doctor give me the feeling that he now knows who I am talking to.

"I could have stopped it, one way or another, I know I could have." Jack says quietly.

"What do you mean?"

"I was still thinking, Rose. The Master had control of my actions, but I was still thinking for myself."

"Are you telling me that you could have overwritten what he was making you do?"

There is a long pause. "I believe I could have."

I suddenly feel sick.

The Doctor takes the phone from me, and I don't protest. "Listen here," He hisses, "Don't call her again. Or you will be dealing with me, Jack Harkness. Are we clear?"

I don't hear Jack's answer before the Doctor angrily closes the phone.

"Are you alright?" He asks quietly.

I shrug. "I honestly couldn't tell you."

"Is there anything I can do?"

I bite my lip and say nothing.

He sighs. "I'm interpreting your silence to mean 'no'."

I lean into him and he wraps his arms around me. "I shouldn't be afraid of Jack, should I?"

"I wouldn't blame you if you were. It is completely understandable."

"I blame myself." I tell him softly. "If I had looked through the door before I opened it…"

"The Master would have found another way to get to you, Rose. It is illogical to blame yourself for that monster's actions. He used Jack because his mind was weak and easily influenced. There was nothing any of us could have done."

I don't argue with him. What good would it do? I still feel responsible for it in some way. He may call it illogical, but I think it is quite the opposite. I put us all in danger. Looking into the Doctor's eyes, I see that ancient soul of his. Maybe this is how he feels.

Responsible. For things that aren't actually his responsibility at all.

I can only imagine what this feeling actually did to him, 900 years of watching people succumb to destruction…of seeing his own species be annihilated during one of the biggest genocides in history. There is so much to the Doctor that I have not yet seen, and perhaps will never see.

The Time War left him broken and alone. When the immediate grief subsided, it left him embittered and angry. That's when I found him…or really he found me.

He saved my life.

And essentially…I saved his.

I kiss him on the cheek. "Thank you."

"For what?"

I smile. "For being my Doctor."

A look of contentment settles over his face. "Rose Tyler…."

"Yes?"

He sighs. "Does it really need saying?"

I put my hand on his cheek. "Not today, Doctor…but someday."

Someday, indeed.


	2. Chapter 2

"Rose!"

My mum is standing in the doorway to the apartment we used to share before I went off to see the world with the Doctor.

I grin. "Mum!"

My legs have a mind of their own as they pump furiously and bring me to stand right in front of her. She throws her arms around me and I do the same. "Oh, honey, I've missed you!"

"I've missed you too." I say into her hair.

She lets go before I do, knowing that we would stand there for moments more if one of us didn't do something. I smile. "Meet James Arbor, mum. He's a Doctor." I wink at her.

James throws a sly look my way. "I'm _the_ Doctor."

Mickey rolls his eyes from the bottom of the stairs. "Oh, good lord."

My mum laughs, "What's the problem with you today, eh? The sky a bit too blue for your taste, Mickey?"

"These two!" He says, grimacing. "They're so sappy, it just about makes me sick."

The Doctor puts an arm around my shoulders. "Hello, Jackie. You look especially cynical today."

I punch him in the stomach playfully.

My mum holds back a smile. "And you seem more Martian than usual."

The Doctor frowns. "Must we cover this every time? I am _not_ from Mars."

I sigh. "Ah! Family! So good to be back."

Mickey laughs and comes bounding up the stairs, no longer perturbed by my interaction with the Doctor.

"Your friend called while you were out, Rose." My mum says, putting a kettle of water on the stove.

The Doctor, Mickey, and I sit down on the couch. "Which friend would that be?"

"He didn't really give his name, he just said… 'Tell her I'm coming.' Does that mean anything to you?"

My blood runs cold.

The Doctor grabs my hand and hauls me up. "Jackie, forget the tea, we have to go. Now."

"Why? What's wrong?"

Mickey runs and grabs my mother by the hand, "Jackie, now!"

She cuts off the stove and the four of us run down the stairs until we reach the street. Mickey starts to run for the car.

"No!" I yell.

Mickey runs back to us and grabs my mum's arm again and we all run down the street at full speed. "Would someone mind explaining what's going on?" My mum yells as we turn the corner.

"No time, Jackie!" The Doctor says.

I pull the whole group to a stop and look back at the apartment complex. A man is standing in front of the stairs in a black coat. He doesn't have time to look behind him and see me before the Doctor hauls me along.

We run four more blocks and stop. "The bus!" Mickey says quietly. "Can we catch the bus?"

I check my watch. "It comes in five minutes. Do we have time?"

The Doctor's eyes are glued to the street corner we just turned. "No." He says. "He could easily board a public bus. What about a cab?"

I look around. "There's one!"

Mickey runs for it, waving his arms and jumping up and down. "HEY!" He yells. "STOP!"

The cab squeals to a stop and the driver rolls down the window. "Look, pal, you don't just run out in front of cars! I could have killed you!"

I take my mum's hand and the Doctor leads us to the cab.

Mickey smiles. "Go. Jackie and I can take care of this."

The Doctor's grip tightens on my hand.

My mum goes and stands beside Mickey. "Rose, he's right. Go with the Doctor. You'll be safe with him."

The Doctor looks at her. "Jackie…"

"Hush. I don't want to hear another word about it. You've kept her alive so far, haven't you? I don't doubt you for a moment." She smiles at him and holds out her arms.

The Doctor hugs her.

Mickey and I look at each other. "So…this is it?" I ask him.

He nods. "Yeah. But, hey. If you're ever in London, you know where I am. Don't hesitate to call."

I swallow against the tightness that constricts my throat. Before I really think about it, I throw my arms around him. "Take care of her, okay?"

Mickey pulls away and smiles. "Will do."

I hug my mother and she kisses my forehead. "I love you." She tells me. "Don't forget that."

"Never." I tell her. "I love you, too mum."

The Doctor takes my hand. "We have to go now, Rose."

I give my mother and Mickey a gentle smile and pile into the cab.

The Doctor climbs in beside me and I scoot next to him.

"Where to?" The driver asks.

"The airport, please."

And we're off.

* * *

The Doctor and I don't speak until we are a few streets away. "Do you think he knows?"

"It wouldn't take much to figure it out." He replies softly.

I take his hands and look at our entwined fingers. "When we land, do you think we should leave and go someplace else? It might throw the Master off of our trail for the time being."

The Doctor looks at me like he has considered all possible options. His sad stare pierces me to my bones. I suddenly know that there is no escaping. There is only evading.

And evading the Master will not last very long. How could it? The Master is a genius, just like the Doctor. The only difference between the two is the way they use it.

"Rose…"

The cabbie honks the horn and the cab swerves. We stop right in the middle of the street and The Doctor and I exchange a glance. "Stay in the car."

He climbs out of the backseat and closes the door behind him.

"Watch where you're going, mister!" The cabbie screeches. "I could've killed ya!"

"So sorry." Someone replies.

I become confused. That voice….it's deep and warm and…safe. I climb out of the cab and walk over to the man without thinking. He looks at me and his eyebrows crease. "You were in the cab?"

I nod. "I was."

My voice is soft and small.

I meet the man's gaze and take him in. He is in an expensive looking suit, nice patent leather shoes, and a black trench coat. A grey scarf is wrapped around his neck. He has a thick head of dark, curly, chocolate brown hair. His eyes are ice-blue. His cheekbones are prominent, and he seems to have a nice smile, though I have not yet seen it.

"I was rushing in that direction there," He says, pointing to the street across the way.

"Baker Street?"

The man nods.

I blink a few times before I feel a hand on my shoulder. "Rose? We should be off now." I hear a tint of jealousy in the Doctor's voice.

The tall and mysterious man's head leans to the side. "Who are you?"

His voice sends shivers down my spine, but I am not afraid. "I'm Rose Tyler." I tell him, giving a small smile, "and this is James Arbor."

The Doctor's face scrunches up in disapproval at my using the name I gave him. I try not to laugh.

"Running." The man suddenly says. "You're running from something."

My blood runs cold. "How…?"

He raises an eyebrow. "You obviously haven't been sitting in the cab very long, your clothes aren't wrinkled. But let's take a look at your shoes. Freshly scuffed, which would suggest that you have been running. Now, your friend here, his shirt is ruffled, hands shaking, and he looks frazzled. You both seem keyed up, which would suggest an adrenaline rush. The car which you have just exited was heading in the general direction of the airport, so I deduce you were going there, but you have no luggage. You were in a massive hurry."

All of this is pouring out of his mouth faster than I thought possible.

"So, from the scuff marks, direction of the car, your mannerisms, and lack of luggage, it would seem that you are running from something. Am I wrong?"

My mouth opens and closes as I grope for words. This has stunned me into silence. "Amazing." I murmur before I can stop myself.

The man gives me a crooked, half-smile.

"I can help you both, you know."

The Doctor bristles. "You don't know us!"

The man gives him a pitying smile. "Don't I?"

I turn to the Doctor. "We have to do this. I can't leave town with my mum and Mickey still around. He is out there, Doctor, and if he can hurt us in any way, he will. I will not leave them here alone."

"Rose-!"

"Stop, Doctor."

I turn to the man, who is grinning with surprise. "We accept your offer."

He nods and walks over to the cabbie's window. "You may go." I see him slip the cabbie a wad of bills, but I do not know the sum.

The cab peels away and melts into the traffic.

We begin walking. Halfway across the street, I realize I know nothing about this man. "Sir?"

"Yes?"

"Might I ask your name?"

The man stops at the curb and gives me that crooked smile. "The name's Sherlock Holmes and the address is 221 B Baker Street. Good afternoon."

Sherlock leaves us standing in front of 221 B. I gaze after him, not knowing why he is so striking to my brain. Or my heart.

"I suppose we should knock."

The Doctor shrugs and pounds the door knocker against the door three times. "Coming!" I hear from inside.

I take the Doctor's hand. "Why do you trust him?" He whispers to me.

"Why did I trust you?"

I watch him consider this, and then disregard it.

"Rose, it is my duty to keep you safe."

"Why? I can do that myself."

"I promised your mother…and I promised myself Rose. If I break that promise, I would not be able to live with myself. Do you understand?"

I do. I understand completely, and yet, it seems ridiculous to me. I handled myself fine before the Doctor came. I didn't have much of a life before him, but I was just fine.

Before I can reply, the door opens. "Yes?"

It is an elderly woman in her late sixties, so I suspect. She has a kind smile and warm eyes.

"We're…uh…friends of Sherlock."

The woman laughs, "Friends? Sherlock doesn't have any friends…but if he sent you here, by all means, come in."

I smile at her and walk through the door. "I'm Mrs. Hudson," She says with a smile. "Sherlock's flat is just up the stairs, his flat mate is out as well, but they will all be back shortly, I'm sure."

My feet move at a sluggish pace as I drag myself behind the Doctor and up the stairs. I'm tired of this. The running and the hiding and the enormity of it all. But would I give it up? No…no I don't think I would. Not for anything in the world.

When I walk into the flat…it's a mess.

Books are strewn about, covering the coffee tables. The chairs are cleared off, but have stacks of papers next to them. The desk has two laptops sitting on it, but behind the laptops sits a massive pile of manila folders. "My god." The Doctor murmurs, "He gives a whole new meaning to the term, 'working from home'."

"That I do, don't I?"

I jump and turn around to see Sherlock standing in the open door to the flat.

My hands are shaking, he has scared me so badly. His eyebrows furrow. "Are you alright?"

I swallow.

"Rose?" The Doctor is by my side instantly.

I bite my lip.

Sherlock comes closer and takes my hands in his. "You're safe here. I didn't mean to frighten you."

My head manages to bob up and down in a nod, although it is a weak one.

"Sherlock, I need your debit card again! The blasted credit machine is acting up at the market. I caused a bit of a row."

Sherlock turns around reluctantly. "Watson, we have guests."

Watson blinks, "Oh, sorry. I'm Doctor John Watson. You are?"

I cannot answer. Both the Doctor and Sherlock see this. Sherlock is the first to speak. "Meet James Arbor…and Rose Tyler. I ran out in front of their taxi on my way here this afternoon."

Watson sighs. "You have got to start looking before you cross the street, Sherlock!"

Sherlock scowls boyishly. "It wastes time."

I smile a little and Sherlock sees me. He smiles back.

A peculiar look comes over his face and he turns back to Watson. "John, did I hear you say you caused a row?"

"Yes. A row with the credit machine."

"You had a row….with the credit machine?"

"More like it sat there while I screamed abuse at it. Look, can I just use your debit card?"

Sherlock chuckles. "Of course, John. It's in my wallet on the table."

"Thank you."

"Um, John?"

"Yes?"

"Might I ask what happened to the groceries?"

John plays dumb. "What groceries?"

"You made it all the way to the credit machine, so you obviously had groceries."

"I…had to leave them at the market." John mutters.

I put a hand over my mouth to keep from laughing, although I can barely keep from it. Sherlock's mouth twitches like he might laugh, too.

"Go on then, Watson, off to the market you go."

"What about you?"

"I have guests to entertain."

"Right, then." John is halfway to the door before he turns around. "Sherlock, I nearly forgot. Mycroft has called me ten times. Try to answer your phone."

"Why?"

"Mycroft is your brother. Not mine."

John leaves without giving Sherlock time to reply.

The door shuts and Sherlock pulls out his phone, only to scowl and dial a number.

"Mycroft." He growls. "Why in blazes can't you leave me alone for _one _day?!"

I do not hear Mycroft's reply, I only see Sherlock's jaw tighten.

"Brother, you must stop calling John when you cannot reach me. It is positively ridiculous! He is not my babysitter, nor my housekeeper. He is my flat mate."

I hear footsteps on the stairs, "Maybe you need a babysitter!" Someone calls.

"Mycroft! I'm not at home!"

I laugh softly.

"Don't play that game with me, Sherlock! I know you are, I can hear you!"

Sherlock runs to the front door and slams it shut. "Sherlock!" Mycroft yells.

"What do you want!?"

"Lestrade needs you down at the station, Sherlock! For God's sakes, open the bloody door."

Sherlock slowly opens the door. "A new case?"

Mycroft stares daggers at Sherlock. "Yes, you immature heathen. A new case."

"I will...think about it. Good day, Mycroft."

Sherlock closes the door in Mycroft's face once more and a sudden look a glee takes over his face. "YES!" He yells, jumping up and down. "Oh, this is a good day!"

He suddenly stops celebrating and looks at me. "How do you do around crime scenes?"

"I…I don't know. I haven't ever actually been to one…?" I reply slowly.

"Would you like to see what I do?" A glimmer shines in his eyes and I see the genius behind the sudden madness that overcame him. Before I really think about it, I nod.

"Rose!" The Doctor grabs my arm as I get up off of the couch.

I yank my arm from his grasp and turn to Sherlock. "Would you give us a moment?"

"Of course."

After Sherlock leaves, I sit down beside the Doctor. "What are you doing, Doctor?"

"I don't trust him, Rose! I don't _know_ him! And might I remind you that you don't either."

"Doctor…I didn't know you, but I did trust you, just as I trust Sherlock."

"But, why? Why, Rose?"

I sigh. "You showed me the world, Doctor. You showed me the worlds beyond this one, and that was our time. That was your gift to me. Now, we are here again. I want to know what is out there. I want to observe human life. You don't have to agree with me, and you most certainly can't stop me, I just want you to know my reasons."

"What about the Master, Rose? What about him?"

"You aren't a Time Lord anymore. Once he figures that out, he will leave us alone. The game will be over for him. We will bore him."

"That might make this whole situation even more explosive."

"How, Doctor? If we bore him, he will move on."

"Or he will adapt the game."

I didn't think of it that way. "So, what am I supposed to do? Hide in 221 B day after day?"

"No. No, not at all."

"Then what do you want? What in the world do you want me to do?"

"Let him go."

"What do you mean?"

"I see the way you evaluate him when he walks in the room. You can obviously see that he is hurt, that he shies away from his emotions to keep from scarring his heart further. You want to fix people, Rose. Sometimes the world just doesn't work that way."

"Why can't it? I fixed you. You were worse than him when I met you."

"No, Rose. You _loved _me, and that was what fixed me. I faced my fears in bringing you along."

"But they still lurk within you, Doctor. You are afraid of hurting. And the only thing that would destroy you enough to make you hurt…is me."

The silence that ensues my comment is deafening.

"Go if you like, Rose." He says finally. "I won't stop you."

I cannot bear the atmosphere of the room. I get up and I walk out of the door.

Sherlock is waiting for me on the stairs. "Everything alright?"

"Fine. Let's go."

He gives me a single look and extends his arm. I take it and we walk out onto the bustling London streets.


	3. Chapter 3

"You're angry." He states simply, halfway down the street.

I sigh. "I am really trying not to be, so if you would not draw attention to it; that would be lovely."

"You can talk to me about it, if you like."

I realize that I can't.

I can't tell Sherlock, or anyone, about all that I have seen and heard and done. I can't tell him about the Doctor. I can't tell him about the Master or the TARDIS. I can't tell him about my adventures.

I can't tell him about anything.

The truth plunges into my heart like a knife. Why did I make him change for me? I stole the Doctor away from his own identity. How could I have done that!?

"Sherlock…" I stop and think before I continue. "It is so complicated…you would think I was mad if I even tried to tell you."

"Miss. Tyler, you could never be taken for mad by me."

My stomach plummets.

"Yes…I am afraid I could. All that has happened to me, would be both improbable and impossible to you."

"You forget me. I am a detective. To me, when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth."

"Is that really true? You play a game, Sherlock. A game of elimination. Say none of the pieces fit, after all of your elimination was done. Would you force them to come together? Or would you accept that despite all you have believed…those pieces would never be explained? Could you bear it?"

We stop walking and he stares at me…as though I fascinate him. I wonder for a moment if I do. I then push it out of my mind.

"Who are you, really, Rose Tyler?"

"I haven't the slightest idea."

His gaze is piercing and finally, when I can no longer bear it, I look to the ground.

"I don't quite know what to make of you."

I give him a half-smile. "That makes two of us."

Sherlock offers his arm again, and I take it gratefully as we continue down the street.

* * *

**_Two Months Later_****:**

A horn honks downstairs. The Doctor leans his head out of the window of 221 B Baker Street.

"Give us a minute!"

I look at John and Sherlock.

"Why can't you stay?" John asks.

My heart hurts so much that I want to rip it out, just so I don't have to feel the pain.

The Doctor comes to stand beside me. "That is our business."

I turn to him. "I think they have a right to know."

"I don't."

"That's your opinion, Doctor, and I don't share it."

"Why must you made everything so bloody difficult!?"

I stand my ground. "Why must you turn everything into a secret?"

"It is necessary!"

"Stop yelling at her!" Sherlock growls at the Doctor. "I won't have that."

I look at them both.

Before I can help myself, I smile bitterly. "Locked together in hatred."

John clears his throat. "Well, this is…the strangest goodbye I've ever said."

"Why is that?"

"I have grown too fond of you. Both of you."

Sherlock looks at me. "Where will you go?"

I bite my lip.

The Doctor answers. "To the States."

Sherlock cannot hide the despair that becomes etched in his eyes. The Doctor is oblivious, but I am not. I wish I was. Oh, God, I wish I was.

I feel like I might cry.

"Send the taxi away."

The Doctor looks at me. "Rose, no. We have to go."

"NO!" I yell, "We are always running and skulking around in corners like criminals! We aren't! You are a human being! How does that make you feel?"

"That isn't the point! I promised I would keep you safe and that is precisely what I'm doing!"

I lock my jaw.

"You can get in that car, and go wherever you like…"

"Then let's-."

"Just know that I will not be with you."

The Doctor stands there, looking at me, but I do not waver in my conviction.

"I have feelings, Doctor. You may forget that, but by God, I swear I do. I want a life! And the thing I'm doing now just isn't it. Always running, always going, always losing ones I love."

Sherlock is watching me closely as I continue.

"I am in _pain_! And no one seems to notice." I laugh incredulously, "You say I want to fix people! Well maybe that's because I don't want them to suffer like I have! I'm done, Doctor."

"He is coming, Rose! Don't you see that!?"

"Let him come! Let him come right to that blasted doorstep and ring the bell!"

"This is insane! You are putting them in danger!"

I don't have a comeback for that. Maybe I am just being selfish. I never have been in my life. Can I afford it this time? I have always put aside what I needed and helped other people. Well, now I need help, and no one is here. What would I have to give up to have what I need?

The cabbie honks again, longer and louder this time.

"Who are you talking about?" John asks. "You speak of running from someone. Who?"

"…The Master."

Sherlock observes me carefully.

"Who?"

"This is so hard to explain." My voice breaks. "If I tell you, then we are all in danger, and if I don't…I might go mad."

Sherlock comes over to me and leads me to the couch. "John," He says, "Send that blasted cab away. They have a story to tell us."

* * *

It's finished.

I have told the whole story, beginning to end.

John scoffs, "Why, that's impossible!"

"Be quiet, John." Sherlock says softly.

Watson sighs. "I'm sorry, Rose. I shouldn't have said that. If you believe it-."

"I can show you."

"What?"

"I can show you everything, both of you. Oh, please, come with us."

"Rose!" The Doctor cries.

"I shouldn't have let you change for me. You left yourself behind the minute you left the TARDIS. Now, it's time to go back, Doctor. You are going to go back to where you belong."

"I don't want to!"

"Oh, but you need to. Your home, your entire existence is out there in the stars. The sky torments you at night, I can see it in your eyes. You long for it. You crave it. And still, you say nothing…but I see it. I see it every day and I swear, it's killing me. You need it, and I want it for you. Go."

"Rose…I couldn't find her even if I wanted to. I don't remember anything from that night."

I smile sadly. "I can."

* * *

The cab pulls up at Gary's Cards & Comics.

Sherlock, John, the Doctor, and I pile out of it and onto the street. Everything is closed. The cab pulls away after John pays the fare and I look to my right.

Across the street…is a darkened alley.

I pull a flashlight out of my bag and flip it on. "It's this way."

They follow me closely as I walk into the alley.

I walk until we begin to approach the dead-end. I angle my light up…and there she is.

The TARDIS.

I take the key out of my pocket and unlock the door. I walk inside without a moment's hesitation. The lights flood on and I take in the wonders of the TARDIS. She is beautiful.

The Doctor comes right behind me and I stand at the door, waiting for Sherlock and John.

"This is…impossible." John breathes as he steps in the door.

Sherlock steps in and smiles at me. "Indeed…but true."

I smile.

"Rose?"

I turn toward the Doctor. He holds a wooden cap in his hand and stands beside the machine. I walk over to him and take his hand. "What is it?"

"I'm…frightened."

My throat constricts. "I am not leaving you, do you hear me? You will not be alone this time."

"Rose…it is violent. You may not be able to stomach this."

"I am _not_ leaving you. I will be right here."

We look at each other for a moment and I kiss him on the cheek. "Watson, take your stethoscope and put it against his heart."

He does so.

"It's normal."

"Remember that."


	4. Chapter 4

_**Okay, so I was in a very rough state of mind when writing this chapter (well...most of them), so this is just a warning for people who don't really care for drama. THERE'S A LOT OF IT. I toy with the emotions of characters. Sorry. For those of you who are going to read anyway, THANK YOU SO MUCH! I really hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Let me know what you think!**_

_**-lightinside**_

* * *

The Doctor puts the cap between his teeth and I fit the head-piece to the machine over his head.

"Count to three and flip it on." The Doctor mutters.

I swallow.

"One…two…three!" I flip the switch.

The Doctor snaps the cap in half and all I can hear…is screaming.

"DOCTOR!"

I begin to cry and I am fumbling to cut it off when arms grab me. I bury my face in someone's chest and sob, clutching at my ears to muffle the screaming. "Make it stop!" I yell. "Help him!"

"Rose, I've got you. You're alright, now." Someone tells me softly.

Sherlock.

I sob into his shirt, "Make it stop, Sherlock, please!"

"Rose, focus on me."

I look up at him. "You can do this, because you went through the impossible. Can you hear that?"

"Yes."

"Do you believe me?"

"…yes."

The screaming stops. I turn around and see The Doctor begin to crumple to the floor. I run for him and catch him just as he begins to fall. I lower him to the floor and pull his head to my lap.

"Rose?"

The Doctor's voice is hoarse and he is breathing heavily. "Yes?" My voice trembles.

"Am I…me again?"

I smile and wipe my eyes. "I don't know yet. Do you want me to have John take a look at you?"

The Doctor nods weakly.

Sherlock comes and kneels beside me. "John, come here. Bring your equipment."

John gets out his stethoscope and places it on the Doctor's chest. His eyes widen and he moves the instrument all around. "My God."

"What?" Sherlock asks, "What is it?"

"Ten minutes ago…he had one pulse. One heart. Now…he has two."

Sherlock looks at me. "Is this what you were talking about?"

"Yes. The machine altered his genetics to make him human…and now he is as he once was."

Suddenly, the TARDIS comes alive. Energy hums through the walls and floor and the lights brighten. Golden light flows toward the Doctor.

I realize what is happening.

"Get back!" I yell, and when no one reacts, "Now! Go! Move!"

I leave the Doctor on the floor and grab Sherlock and John and move them towards the door. I do not open it, but I shield them from the energy.

The Doctor is swallowed in a beam of light and I watch with bated breath. The light subsides after a few moments and I see him, standing.

He grins at me and looks around the TARDIS.

"Rose Tyler…where shall we go?"

I laugh loudly, relieved. He is so happy, and I can tell…this is where he belongs. But I don't.

My feet are leaden. I cannot move toward him to say goodbye. I don't know if I could make the words come out of my mouth. He has been alone since the Time War. I am his companion…his friend…and the only person he let in enough to love.

"Rose?"

"You go, Doctor. You don't need me anymore."

"But I want you here."

I begin to feel sick. I can't do this…but I must. "I belong here, and you belong up there. Where you go, I cannot follow, Doctor."

He stares at me for a moment, disbelieving. "Rose…will you ever…I thought…"

"What?"

"I thought you loved me. You chose this, remember?"

My eyes fill with tears.

"Yes." I tell him. "Yes, I remember."

"Why are you doing this?"

"You were right."

"About what?"

"Everything. I will grow old. I will die. And if I am with you…up there…what life could I have? You and I would never be what I know we both want. I do love you." My voice breaks. "I love you more than I can tell you. But it just can't work like this. It can't."

"Rose, I can be human with you."

"Oh, Doctor. No…you can't. All of the things you have seen and the places you have been, to cut you off from that again would be a sin. That is who you are. You do not have to pretend any longer."

"Is that what you think? That I am pretending with you?"

"I don't know what to think, Doctor. I only know you aren't making this any easier on me."

"You have never made anything easy on me. Why should I do anything different?"

"We all have one life, Doctor. One chance. One choice. One story. I will make mine a good one."

"Stop saying that!"

"What? That I will live? You will travel and you will save the universe a thousand times over, and not once will you think of me…the girl you lost. Time will take me. There is nothing I can do to stop that. The only thing to do is face it."

"Like you're facing me? Leaving me without a spare thought?"

"You…are so wrong about that."

My voice shakes and tears fall in large pools for my eyes. "Am I?"

"YES!" I yell through my emotion, "You are wrong. If this is hard for me, how must it be for you? I can imagine."

"And you can do only that, Rose Tyler. Imagine."

"Are you saying that I don't know real pain? Real loss?"

"You know pain and you know loss, but you have had it gradually. What would you do if you lost your whole family? Everyone you loved and knew and called friend, wiped off the map? How would you fare then?"

"I couldn't tell you! I might not ever be able to tell you that. All I can say…you are not alone, Doctor. You will never be alone. You are loved, and you are forgiven, and you are remembered, and you are _not_ alone."

"Rose…"

"Goodbye, you clever boy."

I walk up to him and stand on my tip-toes. I kiss him gently on his forehead and turn around slowly. I do not lose my resolve as I walk out of the door.

I hear footsteps behind me, but I don't look back…no.

If I looked back…how could I move forward?

* * *

I feel tears sliding down my cheeks, but I am otherwise numb. I feel no pain…I can't allow myself to. I have to shut it off, make sure that I am not hurt. If I allowed myself to feel, I do not know what would become of me.

Someone lays on their horn. I look up and am blinded by headlights. I brace myself for impact, but something slams into me from the side and I am knocked out of the path of the car and onto the pavement. I didn't even know I was in the middle of the street.

John comes running to where I lay on the ground. "Rose! Are you alright?"

Of course, Sherlock and John were the footsteps I heard behind me.

Sherlock is the one who tackled me out of the way.

"Rose," His voice is low…comforting. "Let it go. Don't hold it in. Just let it all go."

My lungs feel like they are collapsing.

I feel like my whole world is caving in.

I clutch at my head, which is bursting and teeming with memories. "I want it to stop," I gasp through my tears.

"I know." He says quietly, and gives a long sigh. "Believe me…I know."

"I left him, Sherlock. I just…left him."

I dig the palms of my hands into my eyes and wonder if this crushing, unbearable, horrifying feeling of abandonment will give me a moment to myself.

"But he hasn't left you, Rose. I can tell that he won't ever leave you."

"I'm alone now, Sherlock."

"No," He says forcefully, "Rose, listen to me. You aren't alone. John and I are going to take care of you. We won't abandon you."

John seems confused. "We are?"

Sherlock turns and glares at John, who then clears his throat. "Yes, yes of course we are."

"My phone," I say softly, "I need my phone."

Sherlock pats my pockets and pulls it out of my jacket. He hands it to me slowly and I take it with shaking hands. I search through my contacts and finally find the one I am searching for.

The phone rings twice.

"Hullo?"

A strange sound escapes my throat, a cry of some sort. I can't answer.

"Rose?"

I swallow and try to breathe. "Yes, Mickey. It's me."

"Rose…something went wrong, didn't it? Are you alright? What happened?"

"He's gone."

Saying those words to Mickey…something inside me shatters, and I close the phone. I don't want to speak, or hear anyone's pitying voice…I don't want to _live_.

This was my choice, I know.

I told him that we each had one chance…once choice…one life.

Well, I had the chance to make a choice, and my life will never be the same.

Sherlock takes my phone from my hand and puts it in his coat pocket. "Put your arms around my neck." He murmurs.

I look into his eyes and do as he says. "John," He continues as he pulls me into his arms, "Phone Mrs. Hudson and tell her that Rose will be saying with us and for her to please make a place for her."

"Should I ask her to put on tea?"

Sherlock stands and I lay my head on his collarbone. He chuckles. "No. She is 'my landlady, not my housekeeper'. I will do that when we get there."

"I'll do it, Sherlock. You stay with her."

I feel Sherlock nod, and I vaguely hear them conversing, but I can no longer bring myself to care about tea, or Baker Street. I think of the Doctor…alone, whizzing through the stars in the TARDIS, looking down at the earth. I think of the time we danced, and of our first date here when we ate chips. I think of the time my mother slapped him.

I nearly smile.

And finally I think of the first day I saw him. He saved my life that day. He has kept saving my life since then. He has been the one to keep me safe and to make me feel whole.

I left him.

I simply left him.

Finally, when the recurring pain is too much, I close my eyes and lose myself in the swing of Sherlock's walk. I listen to the muffled clack of his shoes on the cobblestone street. It is cold now, but I don't feel cold. I don't feel much of anything now.

Maybe it should have always been this way. I should have never left my home to go with the Doctor. I should have listened to Mickey. Perhaps it would not be this way.

I might be blissfully unaware of all that I now know. But it will never be so. I am acutely aware of what has happened…what _is_ happening.

I feel myself slipping into sleep, and I welcome it.

I welcome the darkness, the unconsciousness of it all. I won't have to face anything for a while.

That's good.

It really is.

* * *

**_Sherlock_****:**

"What are we going to do, Sherlock? She can't stay here forever."

I shut the door to Rose's room and look at John. "Of course she can."

"It's dangerous here! Every single time you solve a case, you gain new enemies. If she stays here with us, those people will begin to target her if they think they can hurt you that way."

"John, she has no one right now. She has a mother and obviously an ex-boyfriend, the one she called on the phone, but I could tell that by making that call, she admitted defeat. They didn't trust him, and now, this confirms their beliefs. She hates that. She doesn't want anyone to think badly of him, and I cannot say that I blame her!"

"So you would rather keep her here in harm's way than send her _home_?"

"Rose can stay here until she feels like she can go home, John. And not a second before. I will not force any ideas on her, and I expect you to make her feel welcome, am I clear?"

"I've been doing that for two months! But James- the Doctor was here and she was happy. I don't know how to help her through this!"

I shake my head. "You can't help her John. No one can. She will heal in her own time."

"I can't accept that! Sherlock…she's heartbroken. You saw it yourself."

Something in me seems to shatter. "Yes…I saw."

"Then why can you not admit that you care?"

I walk into the living room and John follows closely. I think about what he has said and I know that he is right. I do care. More than I should or want to show. The people I care about get hurt.

"I can admit it, John. I just choose not to, for the minute I do, I am in danger."

"Danger of what?"

"Of losing her."

After a few minutes pass, John gives a long-winded sigh. "Suddenly, Sherlock Holmes, you make sense."

I sit down and put my head in my hands. "Do I?"

"Yes,…you are a very sad human being, aren't you? Your logic is the only company you have had for years, and that bothers you. Sometimes you wish you were like other people, with not a care in the world. But when you solve something that no one else could…you feel special. Like there is something in this life that you were made to do. And for a little while, you don't feel so alone."

I don't answer, but ponder over John's words.

"Am I wrong?" He finally asks.

"No." I say softly. "No…you are not wrong."

John sits down on the couch. "Does Rose help any of that? Is that why you want her around?"

"She does, John. She and I are alike in many ways. Rose has an ancient and complicated soul trapped in the confines of miniscule human emotions. She is brilliant, and witty, and she makes me forget for a while…forget everything that ever made me hurt."

"Tell me, Sherlock. If she had all of that out there…and _him_, why did she decide to come back here?"

"There is only one explanation I can offer."

"What is that?"

"When you run with the Doctor, it feels like it will never end, but however hard you try…you can't run forever."

"Do you think she realized that?"

"Realize it? John, she knew it…long before she even considered leaving him. She just didn't want to believe it."

"I wonder if she feels like a fool."

"Love makes a fool out of everyone, John."

"Oh, you know what I mean."

"Yes, you're right. I do…very well."

"Sherlock, do you think…" John scoffs, "Forget it. It's quite silly."

"What?"

"Do you think you are in love with Rose Tyler?"

That question stops me cold. How am I to know? I have never felt love before. And if this is what it feels like…maybe I don't want to be.

For two months now, her appearance at the breakfast table has made my day begin. Her smile burns itself in my memory, over and over, and I have cherished each one. Her laugh…I would do anything to hear her laugh. I have grown accustomed to seeing her each day. What will happen when she does leave?

"I am not sure…"

"Do you think she will be alright without you?"

I swallow. "The question is not whether she can do without me…but whether I can do without her."

"So you do love her, then?"

I lose myself in my thoughts before rising out of the chair and clearing my throat. "Stop asking such trivial questions, John."

I grab my coat and put it on, followed by my scarf and gloves.

"Are you going out?"

"So it seems."

I close the door behind me.


	5. Chapter 5

**_Rose_****:**

I get up slowly out of the bed and see that I am still in my street clothes. I am hungry as well, but I choose to ignore that. I couldn't really bring myself to care right now even if I did want to.

I open the door and quietly walk out into the hall. A floorboard creaks and I wince.

"Rose?"

"Yes, John. It's me."

I walk into the living room and find him reading the paper. "Hungry?"

My stomach growls softly, but I shake my head. "No, but thank you for asking."

He nods, giving me a kind smile.

I sit down and listen for a moment. There is not a sign of anyone else here but us. "Um…where's Sherlock?"

"I don't know. He sort of walked out a little while ago. He got a bit testy with my inquisitive nature."

"I might go out for a walk in a bit, I think."

"Should I go with you?"

"I sort of need to be alone for a while. Is that alright?"

"Of course! I'll let Mrs. Hudson know so that she can watch for you when you come back."

"Okay." I say, and go back in my room to slip on my shoes.

I run a brush through my hair, brush my teeth, throw my jacket on, and grab my gloves and phone. I walk out the door without saying goodbye.

I look at my phone. Since I called him last night, Mickey has called sixteen times, and texted fourteen. My phone buzzes. Make that fifteen. I didn't mean to worry them, I really didn't. I planned to tell the whole story, but I didn't make it that far.

I hail a cab and give the driver the address. I am going home.

* * *

**_Sherlock_****:**

I watch as she gets into a cab, and then hail one myself.

"Follow that cab!"

* * *

**_Rose_****:**

My cab pulls up in front of my mum's flat and I get out. "I won't be but a minute. You can keep the meter running if you want."

The driver nods and I shut the door. I turn around and stare at the entrance to the building. My phone rings and I check the number.

Blocked.

Though puzzled, I pick up the phone. "Hullo?"

"Send the cab away."

That voice… "Who…who is this?"

"You know who I am. And you also know that if you don't send that cab away, I might be tempted to hurt your dear mum…maybe even Mickey."

My pulse quickens, but I close the phone and turn back around in a daze. "You can go. I will be staying longer than I thought."

The cab peels away and my phone rings again. I answer. "Please let them go. Your quarrel is with me, am I wrong?"

"No. You are quite right."

"Then you have no need of them! Please! Let them go."

"Rose. They _are_ of use to me! Leverage, sweetheart."

"Don't you _dare_ 'sweetheart' me! All you have done is cause me trouble and heartache! Now you come down here and face me, and I might choose to ignore the fact that you are a good-for-nothing coward."

"Oh, Rose…you brought the heartache on yourself by sending the Doctor away. But I can assure you, he will not be safe for long."

I close my eyes when I feel I am going to be sick. All of this was for nothing. Our evading is over. Escape was never an option, but I forced it upon him.

_If I were him…what would I do?_

"Alright!" I say into the phone. "What do you want?"

"Five minutes."

"And everyone lives? No one gets hurt?"

"You sound just like him." The Master chuckles darkly and then sighs. "Yes, yes alright. And I'll leave in peace."

"I don't believe you."

"Aw," He croons, "Shame, that."

"You can't run from me. If you harm anyone, and I do mean anyone, I swear, I will find you. I _will_ find you."

"Ooh. I'm so scared." He mocks.

I clench my jaw. "You should be." And I hang up the phone.

If I do this…what will happen to me? I think of Sherlock, wandering somewhere around London, and of John, reading his paper. I think of the Doctor, probably saving another planet. And then I think of Mickey…and my mum, probably scared to death. Well…Mickey, anyway. I don't remember seeing my mother scared of anything, but that could very well change.

My phone rings again and I answer. "You have your five minutes. Give me three to think."

"Oh, but Rose, if you wanted me not to hurt anyone, why is that Detective friend of yours sitting outside?"

I look around frantically and spot his taxi. "I didn't know he followed me here. I will take care of it…just…please, don't hurt them."

"You have thirty seconds before my men shoot him." He says. "Tick. Tock."

The line goes dead.

I take a deep breath and storm over to the cab. "Roll down the window, Sherlock! Now!"

Instead of rolling down his window, Sherlock gets out. "Rose, I meant no harm. I wanted to make sure you were safe."

"I'm fine! You have to go, right now!"

His brows furrow, "What do you mean? You are in danger, aren't you?"

"If you don't go right now, a bullet is going to head straight for you, Sherlock Holmes. And I am going to shove you out of the way and take it myself."

Sherlock stares at me. "I can't leave you here."

"And I can't let you die."

I hear a muffled shot and I shove him down. I feel a bullet tear through my back, but I do not feel pain. I don't feel much at all. The sensation is over as quickly as it began, and all I can do now…is see. I see my own blood.

"ROSE!" Sherlock crawls over to me from where I pushed him down.

My cell rings, over and over and I pick it up with a weak hand.

TARDIS CALLING.

I answer it.

"Rose! You're fine. You are going to be alright."

The Doctor is hysterical. Somehow, he was watching. Of course he was. He has always watched over me.

"Yes…" I sigh into the phone, "And so will you."

"I'm on my way."

"You won't be here fast enough…and that's okay."

"Rose, you have to hold on sweetheart. You have to. For me…for him."

I look at Sherlock, who is about to lose his composure, I can tell. "Doctor…"

"I know you can't love a soul made to wander, and that's alright. You deserve better. He _is_ better. He will always be there for you, to hold your hand, and walk down the street with. He can take you to the cinema and buy you flowers…all of the things I couldn't. You need that, Rose. Now…look at him, and hold on, because you are not going to die."

I take Sherlock's hand.

"I'm waiting, clever boy."

I hang up the phone, and I stare at Sherlock. "This is not your fault."

He hangs his head and I take his chin between my fingers and make him look at me. "It isn't."

"I should have left, if only because you asked me to. This…this-."

"Sherlock! I am really trying to stay calm. It would really help me if you could, too."

The cabbie sticks his head out of the window, "I called the authorities!"

"Cancel it!" I yell at him, "I'm bloody fine!"

"Miss, you're sho-!"

"Don't you dare say it! Cancel the call!"

Sherlock stands and grabs the cabbie by the collar, "Do as she says, mate. This is not a matter for the authorities."

"She might die!"

Sherlock hauls the man out of the cab savagely. "Hand me your phone, sir. And I suggest you be quick about it."

The cabbie hands Sherlock the phone and he calls the station. "Lestrade, please."

"Lestrade, a cabbie just called in about a shot girl? Yes, yes that's it."

Sherlock chuckles in answer to whatever the Inspector said. "Too many years on the job. Thank you Lestrade. You've been most helpful."

He hangs up the phone and hands it back to the cabbie along with fifty quid. "Speak of what happened to no one, or I will deal with you myself, and trust me…you don't want that."

The cabbie tips his hat in a hurry and speeds away.

Sherlock kneels down beside me. "Put your hands around my neck."

I do, and he swings me into his arms like a child. "You are going to ruin your shirt." I murmur.

"I hated it anyway."

I give a small, separated laugh. "Liar."

"It's a shirt, Rose. You matter to me much more than a shirt."

"I'm sure…that's not true."

He scoffs. "Don't be daft."

Sherlock carries me away from the scene and into the accompanying alley-way. "Hand me your phone."

I do as he says and he scrolls through my contacts. "How can I reach the Doctor?"

"TARDIS…he said…he was coming."

"I want to make sure he can find us."

I close my eyes and let my muscles relax. I am so tired all of a sudden.

"Rose, open your eyes and listen to me."

I make myself do what he says.

"I texted the Doctor. He is almost here and he can help you, do you hear that?"

Suddenly, I hear it. The sound of the TARDIS.

"Home…"

It fades out long before it is over…and I hear nothing. I cannot feel the cold air on my face, or see the stars. I am fading.

* * *

_**Okay! I know this was shorter than usual, but I might not be able to post for a few days because I have to write two research papers and a 500 word essay this week. For those of you reading this right now, if you follow my story or like it (IF), I am super sorry. I'll try to make it up to you when I post at the end of this coming week or weekend by posting two chapters. **_

_**(Don't forget to review! Thank you again!)**_

_**-lightinside**_


	6. Chapter 6

**_Sherlock_****:**

"Rose!"

She does not answer.

The door to the TARDIS opens and he rushes out. The Doctor, come to save her once more…something that I will never be able to do. I will not be able to show her what he has shown her, or keep her out of harm's way like he has.

"Tell me what to do."

"Take her inside."

I walk in the TARDIS, and I can feel his eyes on me…I can feel his sadness.

For a moment, I wonder what it was like for them both, to be so in love. And I wonder what it was like for her…to up and leave him, finally facing the inevitable. I look at her face now, and heartache rips through me like a knife. What will become of me?

If she should leave me here, what _will_ become of me?

The Doctor takes her and lays her gently on a couch. He takes out his sonic screwdriver and presses it to Rose's wound. The sonic energy pulses through her, but begins to falter.

"No, no, no, no, NO!" The Doctor bellows.

The energy stops.

I suddenly feel sick. That was the only means of life for her...

No.

Rose's eyelashes flutter and then her eyes open. She takes a shallow breath, and sees him. I can tell…that she sees only him.

I watch them.

He takes her hand and tears fall out of his eyes. "At least I got to see you, Doctor. One last time."

The Doctor swallows and releases a jagged breath that matches the tenor of my pain.

"Rose, don't…don't say that to me."

He sits beside her, and she puts a shaking hand to his cheek. "Oh, but you already know…don't you?"

"Please, stop."

"I love you."

"Rose Tyler…I-."

She exhales…and does not move again.

Something wet leaves trails down my cheeks, and I put my fingers to it. Tears.

For the first time in a long time, I have let someone in enough to care.

And now...

Look.

* * *

There are five stages of grief.

Denial.

Anger.

Bargaining.

Depression.

Acceptance.

* * *

_**One Week **__**Later:**_

Everyone is leaving. Jackie…Mickey…The Doctor...even Mycroft, who came at the request of John. And I am left, standing before it.

The grave.

I refuse to call it hers, because if I did, I would believe it all. I can't allow myself to believe it for belief would be my undoing.

I stare at this…_thing_. It is black…too morose for her. She was alive and bright and fierce.

The past-tense hits me like a slap to the face.

I look behind me to make sure everyone has gone and I sink down to the ground. I sit before it and stare. I stare, but I do not really see. How could this be true? How could she be there, buried in the ground beneath my feet?

I pull my knees to my chest.

"I know…that you can't hear me. But I have to say this all the same."

My throat tightens and I blink back tears.

"I was afraid to let anyone in. I was terrified of letting someone know me…really know me and I was content with hiding from my real feelings behind my intellect. Before…" My voice breaks. "Before I met you…Rose Tyler…I had never loved anyone. But, now…I love you. And it's too late."

I find it in myself to stand and look down at the grave. I pull a small token of remembrance from inside my coat. I place it gently on the stone, and look at it. A beautiful, vibrant rose. Just like her.

* * *

**_Six Months Later_****:**

Light floods into the room.

"Sherlock, you have got to get up."

I turn over and pull the pillow over my head. "Get out."

"No! You've got Mrs. Hudson thinking we need to admit you to a hospital!"

"She worries too much."

"Really? Frankly, I'm worried as well. You won't eat, you don't leave the flat, and you don't answer your phone. Mycroft has been by every single day for three months, but you refuse to see him. All you do is sleep, shower, and then sleep some more, if you aren't interrupted by nightmares!"

I sit up. "How do you know about those?"

"I have ears, Sherlock." John sighs. "You cry out for her."

"I don't want to talk about that."

"Sherlock, why? You have to face this sometime."

"Not today, I don't! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to my very full social calendar."

"And what would be on today's agenda?"

"Sleeping."

John runs a hand through his hair. I can tell he is more frustrated than angry with me. He finally comes over to the side of my bed and rips my covers back. "Get up."

"No."

"Get. Up."

"I said, no!" I throw a pillow at him and he glares at me.

Before I know it, John has grabbed my arms and is hauling me out of my room. I can't fight him. He drags me to the table, plops me in my seat and sits down hastily in his. He grabs the paper and opens it so angrily that he rips the front page.

John sighs and lays the paper down. "Go back to your room if you want, Sherlock. I'm sorry. It wasn't right for me to act like that."

"You think so, do you?"

I am being too harsh, I can tell. When I remark this way, John suddenly deflates. "I'm sorry." I sigh. "That was unkind of me."

"No, it's alright."

An awkward silence falls over the room. I clear my throat. "I think I'll shower and get out for a while."

John looks at me, surprise etched on his face. "Really?"

"Apparently, my escapades are causing _Mycroft_, of all people, to visit daily."

"Are you telling me that you find your brother's worry to be bothersome?"

"Mycroft is bothersome to me, not his feelings."

John rolls his eyes. "You really should be more understanding of him, Sherlock."

"I understand him completely. I just can't bring myself to care."

"You really have shut everything off, haven't you?"

"I made the mistake of letting…" I take a deep breath. "Of letting her in, and the pain that resulted was…and _is _almost too much for me to bear."

"You shouldn't do that to yourself."

"Whatever do you mean?"

"If you've shut everything off and everyone out, love could slap you in the face and you wouldn't know it because you wouldn't feel it."

I look at John for a moment. "You are mistaken, John."

"About?"

"Me."

"Do tell."

"When she left, she took everything with her."

"Are you quite sure?"

"I will never love again. Who could ever compare to her?"

"That isn't the point."

"What is, then?"

"Sherlock, tell me. If you're always stuck in the past, how can you have a future?"

"Are you telling me to forget her?"

"No! I would never ask you to do that, no. All I am saying is that you have to stop looking for another Rose Tyler, and just let yourself feel for someone like you felt for her. If you keep holding on to this ideal, it will never happen."

I stand from the table. "I don't want it to happen again."

"Your pain will pass, Sherlock. It may not seem like it now, but it will."

"And when it does pass, I would never want to experience it again."

John nods slowly. "I understand that."

"Then stop trying to convince me that opening up again wouldn't provide the same results!"

"Sherlock…"

"I'm going to the cinema. I might be back later, but please, don't wait up." I shove my chair under the table and storm off into my room.

I am going out today…but not to the cinema.

* * *

**Plot twist! Think logically. Would someone ****_really_**** kill Rose? Really. THINK. If I remember correctly, I promised you two chapters this week. A lot can happen in two chapters (or more) so have patience, ****_please._**

**-Thank you for reading!-**

**-lightinside-**

**(I have got to stop letting my personal life influence my writing mood.)**


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